I love you, it's over

if she knew
like she could,
what the cobwebs really were
what the black and white lines crawling up the caterpillar like temples of sleep
lining the drive-lines blurred yellow and honking loud on weekends
and
what it meant to be a me
lost in that
with a name
hers
crossed out
like
the way she cannot
when she scratches the board
where there are no mistakes
even when she makes ones
and
that confusion in my mind then
or that confusion that went somewhere
and is not here with us
in this moment
or any
then
would that make it go
would that start that engine
so i could hold her
for that moment
so that all the lines could intersect
so that
the bed would not move
for how long i lay in it
too old now or older
to hang on to
foolwishes
when i know
one bridge across
somewhere
this
this would be unnecessary
but
i stare into the black light polluted sky from my perch
in my room
and
that is what dream i have
solid
rockshaped and unweilding
and
I WILL NOT LET GO
because
either way
when you restart a mans faith
his engine is as clean as it was
the day it went motor
and
all gears operate at the same frequency
they bang out,
URGENT
and
walk
and
hold this in
until you explode
with the words
for
my part in this thing we made
is all verse
and
behind that
dear love
is
a
new thing
in the shape
of a man
so
so
so
fucking willing
to
wait

even if it meant
only
when i get to dream
that embrace
in
a future jam bodies
not traffic
and
damnit
damnit
if i am not
strawberry red faced
and
sliding down the back of my door
each time it closes
and
you go
like i never went to prom
but
had one
every
fucking
time
i
knew you
laughed
for real
epcot center faced
and
fingers touching
in
an almost cold street
with you knowing how
disappointed i was
just then
and
only that grasp
is what a man means
when he says
i’d just like someone to be able to take care of me
in a moment
for a spell
so
if only you knew
if only you knew
that
then that bridge
it’s just a thing
metal and brackets
to carry us
here
to a home
so that something else
something else besides
a worry
was worth
a
new idea
over and over
and
i guess that is what i am
what i am now
i am yours
for
the lighting
and
mine
for the waiting
and
ours
for the showing
but
no one else’s
for the taking
until

if there is such a thing
but
that is between me and the dreams dear
and
we,
me and those dreams,
we’re getting along
just fine
so
know that
know that
all the way
into
your safe channel
whatever those blankets
look like
but
remember
me
and my eyes
and
what it looks like when i laugh
belly ease
and
calm
because
you aren’t made of a lie
and you
you did that
and you
you
you’re magick
and
me
i am here
i am here
in an ours fingers crossed position
locked down
in the cobwebs
no matter
where
my body goes
just so
just so
you know
perfect dreamer
nylon string hunter
feedback maker
soul
restarting device
or
recurring ever-present
love